Wholesome Article of the Day: Cop Does His Job
On this beautiful Spring day, a police officer decided to uphold the law and be an upstanding member of his community. He got up on time...
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THE BINGHAMTON UNIVERSITY TIMES TRIBUNE
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Brendan Boyce
Mar 14, 20222 min read
Conservative Student's Toes Unfairly Targeted by Professor's Woke "Progressive Stubbing" Policy
Earlier this week, a forgettable looking white guy named Peter Levinson stubbed his toe in his sociology class and proceeded to storm out...
40 views
Brendan Boyce
Feb 11, 20221 min read
Snoop Dogg Drops Out of Halftime Lineup After Finding Out That the Super Bowl Isn’t a Giant Pipe
Snoop Dogg, a celebrity stoner who also raps in his free time, has reportedly dropped the Super Bowl LVI Halftime show like it’s hot...
27 views
Brendan Boyce
Feb 9, 20221 min read
Bill Murray Murders New Jersey Groundhog to Escape Time Loop
The quiet village of Milltown canceled their annual Groundhog Day celebration after the unexpected death of their prized groundhog,...
19 views
Ethan Rosenblum
Nov 12, 20212 min read
Attempt to Reduce Inflation With Forex Scheme Leads to Birth of Evil Supereconomy
The U.S. inflation rate is currently at its highest peak since the birth of Timothee Chalamet, leaving many experts unsure how to respond...
17 views
BU Times Tribune
Oct 21, 20210 min read
15 views
Brendan Boyce
Oct 19, 20212 min read
New York State Bans Weed Again, CIW Students Go Back to Huffing Paint
This past week New York State reversed the legalization of the completely natural, organic medicine known as Mary Jane. In a frenzy of...
28 views
Brendan Boyce
Sep 27, 20212 min read
Anti-Vaxxers Distraught at Discovery of Flu Shot
This week outside of CVS in Binghamton, a crowd gathered to protest the flu shot vaccines, claiming they had finally realized it was a...
8 views
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