Let's Talk About Cum.
As the school year comes to a close, it is imperative that we close in on cum. Although campaigns such as "nofap," "semen retention,"...
THE BINGHAMTON UNIVERSITY TIMES TRIBUNE
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Sam Wheeler
- May 21
- 4 min
Top 5 Summer DIYs
Guys, gals, and non-binary pals, the air is fresh, the flowers abloom, the sun is shining, the bees abuzz- you all know what that means....
48 views
Maxwell Maceluch
- Apr 11
- 3 min
DC Unveils 'The Master Baiter: The Alt-Right Rogue of Gotham'
Batman has never been one to back down from a fight. He's withstood jokesters, puzzlers, and Austrian bodybuilders who have a psychotic...
38 views
Maxwell Maceluch
- Apr 4
- 3 min
Academy Awards Slated to Host 'Oscars Squid Game' in 2023
It ain’t no game. Now that Will Smith shattered the glass ceiling that shielded Chris Rock’s face with his bare hands by committing an...
34 views
BU Times Tribune
- Mar 22
- 0 min
12 views
Max Lieber and Alec Wainar
- Mar 19
- 3 min
We Interviewed a Man Who Watched the Entire Chris-Chan Documentary; You Won't Believe What He Said
Following “CWCville Forced to Celebrate Chris Chan’s Birthday”, many of our readers have reached out to us regarding the subject of this...
41 views
Sam Wheeler
- Mar 11
- 2 min
Lead Guitarist for Punk Band Learns One New Chord, Fans Call Him "Sellout"
Eugene Vicious, leader of local punk band Plastic Semen, has recently found himself in hot water after his controversial decision to...
36 views
Maxwell Maceluch
- Feb 24
- 3 min
CWCville Forced to Celebrate Chris-Chan’s Birthday
Save them, GodJesus. No, actually, GodJesus help us all. Although former CWCville Mayor and real-life monster Christine Weston Chandler...
21 views
Brendan Boyce
- Feb 11
- 1 min
Snoop Dogg Drops Out of Halftime Lineup After Finding Out That the Super Bowl Isn’t a Giant Pipe
Snoop Dogg, a celebrity stoner who also raps in his free time, has reportedly dropped the Super Bowl LVI Halftime show like it’s hot...
23 views
Brendan Boyce
- Feb 9
- 1 min
Bill Murray Murders New Jersey Groundhog to Escape Time Loop
The quiet village of Milltown canceled their annual Groundhog Day celebration after the unexpected death of their prized groundhog,...
14 views
BU Times Tribune
- Feb 3
- 0 min
28 views
BU Times Tribune
- Dec 14, 2021
- 2 min
JoJo Fan Suddenly Bisexual Now That Main Character is a Woman
JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure is gay. Not in a disparaging sense; essays have been written on how its flamboyant fashion, unorthodox poses,...
49 views
Maxwell Maceluch
- Dec 7, 2021
- 3 min
Every Animated Spider-Man Movie, Ranked
With Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (Part One) coming out next year, it is the superior time to look back at and rank the one...
35 views
Brendan Boyce
- Dec 3, 2021
- 1 min
Nation's Aunts Post Pandora Wrapped on Facebook
This week while everyone was enjoying their Spotify Wrapped 2021, your aunt was probably flexing her generic Pandora Wrapped to her...
25 views
Ethan Rosenblum
- Nov 18, 2021
- 2 min
Bethesda and Taylor Swift Collaborate To Release Skyrim (Taylor’s Version)
Taylor Swift set the internet alight with her ten-minute version of “All too Well,” the smash hit off of her newest album, but she isn't...
14 views
BU Times Tribune
- Nov 10, 2021
- 2 min
Man Lives in Constant Fear James Corden is the Only Good Person in Hollywood
As another week passes by yet again, it’s important to reflect on all of the Hollywood actors who were recently cancelled for one reason...
15 views
Brendan Boyce
- Oct 28, 2021
- 2 min
James Corden Performs Stand-Up in Binghamton: Dozens Injured
Infamous late night “comedy” host James Corden did a stand-up set in Binghamton on Friday, much to his chagrin. Corden, or "The...
34 views
BU Times Tribune
- Oct 20, 2021
- 2 min
"We Decided to Cast James Corden as Tom Bombadil," Says Evil Billionaire Jeff Bezos
During his most recent interview with the BUTT on matters that don't really concern him, everyone’s favorite evil billionaire, Jeff...
25 views