Red Flags That the "Slutty Cop" at the Bar is Actually an Op
It is a truism that criminals are more likely to commit crimes while under the belief that cops aren’t in the room. This phenomenon is...
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Bax Shapiro
- Sep 13
- 2 min
OPINION: Umm… “She-Hulk?” How about… “He-Hulk.”
Man, do I miss the days of old comics. Super MAN, Bat MAN, Iron MAN, Spider MAN, Ant MAN, notice a trend? Things changed once the woke...
59 views
Maxwell Maceluch
- May 24
- 2 min
Let's Talk About Cum.
As the school year comes to a close, it is imperative that we close in on cum. Although campaigns such as "nofap," "semen retention,"...
170 views
Sam Wheeler
- May 21
- 4 min
Top 5 Summer DIYs
Guys, gals, and non-binary pals, the air is fresh, the flowers abloom, the sun is shining, the bees abuzz- you all know what that means....
56 views
Brendan Boyce
- Apr 28
- 2 min
Sorry, We Took a Weed Week
To the dudes and dudettes that find themselves stumbling onto this page, we at the fine magazine of The Binghamton University Times...
60 views
Brian the ALPHA MALE
- Apr 14
- 4 min
Top 10 Characters Who Are Literally Me
When it comes to fiction, characters’ desires, fears, and motivations are often a lens for us to view humanity. This helps us empathize...
4,544 views
Dr. Sugondese
- Apr 7
- 2 min
The Bells, They Toll: Top Five "Fantasies" I Have About "Deconstructing" the Clock Tower
1. It would be cool, I think Imagine that you are leaving your 11 o'clock class in Library North. You walk outside into the beautiful...
50 views
Alex Weiner
- Apr 6
- 7 min
Top 10 Puppets
Life is pretty crazy. There’s almost always something going on that keeps us stressed and away from enjoying the little things in life....
65 views
Maxwell Maceluch
- Mar 21
- 2 min
The Campus is Alive...
We were dumbasses to assume the giant, pulsating BU Brain tucked away in the bowels of the Fine Arts building was the end of it. Complete...
33 views
Adam Malev
- Mar 7
- 2 min
The Dos and Don'ts of LinkedIn DMs
Ahh, internship season… or should I say internsimp season. Late winter is that magical time of year when those ambitious, procrastination...
21 views
Brendan Boyce
- Mar 4
- 1 min
Op-Ed: Don't Take Your Kids to Parade Day, Its Exactly What You Think It Is
This Saturday is the annual Parade Day in Binghamton, which doesn’t mean festive shamrocks, or leprechauns, or releasing snakes in the...
35 views
Alex Weiner
- Mar 1
- 2 min
FUCK YOU: How Hard Is It To Make a Fucking Pancake at 6PM?
Picture this: It’s 5:50 PM on a Wednesday, and you can do anything you want until 7, which is when the weekly BUTT Writer’s Meeting...
32 views
Brendan Boyce
- Feb 28
- 2 min
Explosive Diarrhea, Food Poisoning, Or Business As Usual?
Over the past two weeks, many students have come out to accuse Sodexo of giving them food poisoning, which begs the question, have we all...
31 views
Ye
- Feb 23
- 5 min
Kanye Should Declare War on Pete Davidson Over Kim K Crisis
A lot has been said about the impending crisis in Kim Kardashian’s life. Putting aside the probability of a Pete Davidson invasion, the...
32 views
Shannon Mahon
- Feb 8
- 3 min
Tired of Someone Taking Your Favorite Seat? Here's Some Wacky Ways to Reclaim What Belongs to You
There’s no thicker tension than what exists between you and the person that stole your coveted seat in class. How utterly humiliating it...
39 views
Max Lieber
- Dec 16, 2021
- 2 min
Fucking Bullshit: English Final Requires You To Have Done the Readings
Following a devastating final in ENG 221, many English and Comparative Literature majors were left wondering why they ever became English...
26 views
Brendan Boyce
- Dec 13, 2021
- 2 min
Op-Ed: I Didn’t Take a Shit in the Union Lobby. But if I Did, Here’s How I Would’ve Done It
‘Twas the Wednesday before finals when all through the Union, not a student was stirring, except for the one kid absolutely fucking...
50 views
Ethan Rosenblum
- Dec 10, 2021
- 2 min
If 'The Artist' Can Make Tap Dancing Cool Again, Maybe the Market Actually Can Solve Climate Change
Those of you who know me know that I have absolutely no faith in the survival of the human 150 years hence. That’s okay. I’ve made my...
15 views
Graham Young
- Dec 8, 2021
- 2 min
We Tried All Dr. Oz’s Rejuvenating Essential Natural Fucking Oils Or Whatever, Here's What We Found
Sometimes, in our duty as factual and responsible journalists, we at the BUTT have to review products so you don’t have to - even if that...
28 views
Ethan Rosenblum
- Dec 6, 2021
- 2 min
Op-Ed: Never Take Your Kids to Santacon. It's Not What You Think It Is
As a single father of two, I sometimes find myself struggling to find ways to keep my little angels from bothering me. That’s why I was...
25 views