Op-Ed: Leave Disney Adults Alone
Recently, Disney adults have been the recipients of unwarranted hate online from naysayers and trolls alike, and it’s kind of problematic? It’s time that these haters finally decide to Let It Go.
One insult lobbed at Disney adults in recent tweets is that they’re too childish. Um, have you ever considered the possibility that Disney adults only behave this way in a pathetic attempt to justify and reclaim their own failed, bleak childhoods? I ask you: so what if a grown-up’s most-watched movie is Disney’s Moana? Maybe none of their classmates showed up to their birthday party in fourth-grade, you dumb hater. Sorry, but anyone whose most-watched show is Hannah Montana or Dog With a Blog is probably battling some serious psychological demons, and could probably do without your excessive backlash and gatekeeping.
Detractors also contend that Disney adults are too mean to cast members impersonating (correction: “who are friends with”) their favorite Disney characters. Well, if I were to funnel the entirety of my disposable income and retirement plan into visiting theme parks, I would probably feel entitled to constant and singular attention from its employees, too. I really doubt that your evil stepmother needs her dishes washed at this exact moment, Cinderella — you must record personalized messages for all of the contacts in my phone whether you want to or not. It’s highly problematic and low-key not canon for the Cinderella character to call security on anyone. Disney adults whose perceptions of the titular Disney princess have forever been altered by the cast member’s callous disregard for authenticity should not be afraid to voice the injustices they’ve suffered.
While I myself am not an ardent enough fan of the Disney IP to base my entire personality off of it, I participate in a separate adulthood fandom: I’m officially a Binghamton adult. That’s right. I stan the public ivy. Harvey Stenger literally slays. You never can have too many college diplomas to still feel like a student. I’m going to have my wedding at the Peace Quad, and it will be catered by Sodexo. My favorite movies are State of the University Addresses. Once I’m well into my adulthood, I’m going to force myself into the lecture hall during class — ill-fitting University branded sweatshirt and all — and demand the attention of the professor so that I can regale him of courses I’ve attended in the past. And I will feign surprise and disdain at being deemed a disturbance and being removed from the lecture hall because I’m an alumni for goodness’ sake. I’ve started my own fast-pass system exclusive to alumni for restaurants in the Marketplace, and I’m just waiting for the university to catch on to it. My crippling student loan debt is a monthly reminder that Binghamton University still cares about me and it kind of gives me life. I only post two kinds of pictures on my Instagram story — artsy pictures of the nature preserve, and selfies I take sitting next to Baxter in the Union — and you’re just going to have to deal with it. And if you’re a true Disney adult, you’ll get how relatable my quirky behavior is and you’ll stan me.