March 20th marks the tenth anniversary of the International Day of Happiness, a holiday meant to emphasize the importance of happiness in everyone’s lives. We at the BUTT are instead celebrating the International Day of Sadness today, to commemorate the fact that everything in life will ultimately be disappointing, and as you age the diminishing returns on anything that gave you happiness will slowly dissipate into nothing, only reminding you of the precious time you have lost on this Earth. Anywho, here are some things you can do at BU to punctuate a deep feeling of sadness.
1. Experience a Binghamton sports event
Nothing can accentuate a sense of utter despair and anguish than seeing a Binghamton sports team getting their ass clapped by a Division II school you’ve never heard of.
2. Try a new dining option
Are you afraid to try a new Sodexo meal over the fear of getting a debilitating illness? Well you should be, because trying a new meal in the dining hall will drain the rest of your remaining dining dollars, as the rest of your remaining internal organs drain out of your asshole.
3. Take a trip to the BU Art Museum
Take a trip to the Art Museum on campus, and bore yourself with the pretentious pontification of horridly egotistical artists, when you could be enjoying real art, like a BUTT article. Honestly whatever it is they're displaying in there is probably something about dead babies or holocaust victims so this one's a must visit if you're really trying to make your already depressing day an even shittier one.
4. Utilize the bus system
Explore the vast Broome county area using the vast OCCT system, before it is banned again by a belligerent freshman pulling the doors off of the bus.
5. Explore the nature preserve
Enjoy the fruits of nature by walking through Binghamton’s nature preserve in overcast weather, and realize that the weather here will never get any better.