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  • Andrew Schiller

NEW AMAZON PRIME VIDEO SHOW SPARKS CONTROVERSY AND DEGENERACY


BINGHAMTON, NY – Wow, the entertainment industry is so fresh right now! There’s the Avatar remake, the Halo adaptation, the new Star Wars show… oh, who am I kidding? There’s just nothing original on TV anymore. Wait, what? Vivienne “Vivziepop” Medrano’s new hit animated series Hazbin Hotel finally released? Praise the dark lord! With a flashy animation style, a star-studded cast, and a slew of catchy new songs, Hazbin Hotel has proven to be quite the new pimple on the face of pop culture. However, while acne has its supporters, it also has its opposers, and in this case, the main opposer is the good ol’ Catholic Church.


You see, we live in an age of machines, not parents. The warm bodies that have been given the task of supervising Gen Alpha and late Gen Z trust the process that little Timmeigh’s iPad Air Fire 13 will perfectly supply him with endless streams of Cocomelon, Blippi, and Kai Cenat. However, these smooth-brained buffoons of the future have not yet learned how to read, and unfortunately, neither have their children. It usually goes like this: Little Billeigh wanders from YouTube Kids to Amazon Prime Video (that mommy uses to watch her soap opera), clicks on Hazbin Hotel, and… oh no! They did a sex! They did a sex and a bad word on the TV show! Clearly, this is the show’s fault! Not me or my little angel! Grrrr! *shakes fist* Aside from the obvious sexual and profane content, Christian parents are concerned about Lucifer and other demons being shown in a good light and vice versa for angels. We interviewed one such ultra-religious parent, Chris Chan… wait, wrong name? That’s who? Oh god! Sorry, we interviewed one such ultra-religious parent, Chris Chin, to get his opinion on the matter, and he had this to say: “How dare they try to redeem themselves? My god hates them! Raaaagh!” When informed about the clearly visible content warnings and restriction settings on Amazon Prime Video, Chin said, “Fake news! It’s a cartoon, so it should HAVE to be ok for my little Bobbeigh to watch! What? Family Guy? American Dad? That FILTH perpetuates the libs’ atheist agenda! In fact, this one does too! I bet it’s turned my child gay already!”


While I can only wish Chin the best with his sky daddy, he might have a point. While the show does have its adult audience (you know, the target audience?), it is most popular with teens. They gather in hordes on Reddit and elsewhere to discuss headcanons, hold Q+As as their favorite characters, and otherwise share their… feelings about the show. We tracked down the anonymous 14-year-old with the screen name LoonaIsMyMommy, the author of the post titled, “hey, i’m vaggie. charlie asked me to do one of these so ama i guess.” As soon as the words “Hazbin Hotel” left our interviewer’s lips, they began gushing: “Oh my god, Hazbin Hotel! Husk is such a daddy! And oh my god I’m just like Alastor! He’s like my inner demon that’s ready to lash out at the jocks at school at a moment’s notice! And oh my god I wanna meet Angel Dust so I can…” and we cut them off there to spare our ears from any further torment.


So, uhh… yeah! Hazbin Hotel! Popular for literally all the wrong reasons! Can’t wait for Season 2!

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