Here at the BUTT, it’s our imperative to unpack issues affecting our students, no matter how controversial. Today, I humbly ask our readers to put their hot cocoa down, get out from under their blankets and turn their Netflixes off. Snow days are actually very problematic, and it’s time we as a university dealt with the cold truth.
Supporters of snow-days often warn against traveling on icy roads, that your car could perhaps skid and crash, resulting in severe injury of both you yourself and potentially countless other students. It’s important to remember that car accidents can constitute an excused absence, so long as your professor is given proper documentation. In the end, all that really matters is whether your academic performance reflects the high standards of this prestigious university. I remember a particularly snowy school day in January where, while driving along State Street, a car had skidded into mine, impacting its front-right side. The airbag had spared me from most of the damage, but I was still left with a tremendous, shooting pain in my right hip. The other driver seemed very concerned and apologetic, but in my fleeting condition, I could pay him no mind. With what remaining strength I had, I shrewdly used it to walk myself to the Downtown Center so I could take a bus the rest of the way. There I sat, writhing in agony until finally arriving at the University with two minutes to spare — I could make it to class yet! Then, after having attended lecture and writing comprehensive notes on said lecture, I was finally able to go to the hospital.
What, you’re going to let some bundles of frozen water prevent you from pursuing your education? You might as well defect to SUNY Stony Brook if that’s the mindset you have. If in one instance, Harvey decides to close school because of unsuitable roads, students are going to come to expect this kind of generosity with every snowstorm. It’s not a precedent we, as a school, should be setting. Cornell will think we’ve gone soft. Funny, isn’t it, how a winter storm can reveal who the snowflakes among us truly are?
Lastly, we need to address snow-day culture, and how toxic it actually is to our student body. Nobody should be proud of themselves for procrastinating on their work and then relying on worsening climate change to save themselves from the consequences of their own actions. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.