In a stunning turn of events, former President Donald Trump's highly publicized indictment has been announced by the Trump Organization to be a part of his new Netflix-hosted reality TV series, Art of the Steal. The show follows Trump as he navigates life in prison after being convicted on 34 fictional charges.¹
The show's premise is simple: Trump must use his skills as a "master negotiator" and "deal maker" to survive behind bars. Each episode will feature challenges like making alliances with other inmates (some of which are those convicted of the January 6th insurrection, such as former Binghamton University student Jon Lizak. Go Bearcats!)², giving coherent speeches when confronted by his 6'7, 200 lb roommate who’s wondering why there’s urine in the sink, and having to fashion makeshift tools that will be vital to his survival, such as a shank and a “FiFi.”³ Sources close to the production reveal that the series is being filmed at a minimum-security prison in Florida, where Trump will have access to all of his favorite creature comforts, including a gold-plated toilet, a tanning bed, and a diverse assortment of well-endowed female escorts with very full bladders.
Reaction to the news has been mixed. Some Trump supporters are excited to see their hero back in the spotlight, while others are questioning the taste of turning incarceration into entertainment (or would be questioning that, if they were capable of a level of critical thinking beyond reading the “do not consume” label on packets of silica gel). Most are just confused as to whether or not the former US POTUS is actually incarcerated, following the momentous discovery by government scientists regarding his current dualistic state of existence.⁴ Companies such as Sodexo and CoreCivic have invested heavily into the show, explaining that Trump could bring much needed good publicity for private prison companies. Critics have also raised concerns about the legality of the production; several of the paid actors hired to portray the FBI agents who arrest Trump following a heroic last stand at Trump Tower have been seen going around flashing their badges at NYC residents in attempts to get free coffee or avoid speeding tickets. Supporters of Trump have tweeted back at the show’s doubters with in-depth criticisms such as “shut up soyboy” and “typical liberal snowflakes.”
Despite these concerns, Trump remains optimistic about the project. In a video released exclusively on Truth Social, he said, "This is going to be huge, folks. The biggest, most real reality show ever made. Believe me, no one knows more about making TV than me. And let me tell you, there's nothing more exciting than being locked up in a cell with a bunch of hardened criminals. It's going to be tremendous, believe me.” Only time will tell if Art of the Steal becomes the next reality TV sensation, or if it will go down in history as a tasteless and ill-conceived vanity project. Trump has already announced plans to produce nine other upcoming TV and Internet productions, which include widely anticipated titles such as “My Zany Life as Mr. President” and “The Donald Shits on Plates and Shows Them To You,” so it's pretty irrelevant either way.
1. The Trump Organization has asked The Butt to clarify that Trump’s crimes in the show bear no meaning on any alleged crimes committed by Trump in reality; even if Trump committed any, which he didn’t, he was doing so as a patriot.
2. The Trump Organization has asked The Butt to clarify that ‘insurrection’ is a misnomer and that the people who attempted to hijack the Capitol were merely ‘avid fans’ of Trump trying to pay him a visit.
3. For or more info on the subject of the FiFi device, the BUTT recommends watching this useful and informative video by YouTube user BigD Ham.