Which Previously Eradicated Disease Do You Have? Take This Quiz!

1. Which of the following best describes your symptoms?

   1. A G O N Y

   2. My peepnis fell off

   3. Boils absolutely everywhere

   4. I have a tummy ache

2. Which of the following contagions and/or infections have you been recently in contact with?

   1. Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant Reactor 4

   2. A leper colony

   3. I killed a guy and drank his blood

   4. Mosquitoes

3. How confident are you in your ability to beat a gnome in a fight?

   1. Very confident

   2. Somewhat confident

   3. Unconfident

   4. Not at all confident

   5. Unsure

4. Rank the last 4 presidents of Mexico in terms of fuckability:

   1. Claudia Sheinbaum Pardo (2024-present)

   2. Andrés Manuel López Obrador (2018-2024)

   3. Enrique Peña Nieto (2012-2018)

   4. Felipe Calderón Hinojosa (2006-2012)

5. If you were a furry, which animal would you be?

   1. Wolf

   2. Wolf

   3. Wolf

   4. Wolf

6. Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?

   1. Yes

   2. No

   3. I’m Jewish

   4. Hail Satan!

7. Which of the following recreational drugs do you use?

   1. Marijuana

   2. Weed

   3. Mary Jane

   4. Reefer

   5. Spliff

   6. The Devil’s Lettuce

8. Where does it hurt?

   1. Everywhere

   2. My head

   3. My heart

   4. My soul

   5. Right here

9. Rank the following 4 death metal albums:

   1. Realm of Chaos: Slaves to Darkness by Bolt Thrower (1989)

   2. Tomb of the Mutilated by Cannibal Corpse (1992)

   3. Breeding the Spawn by Suffocation (1993)

   4. The Palpable Leprosy of Pollution by Infant Annihilator (2012)

10.  I should’ve asked this first, but do you have insurance?

    1. Yes

    2. No

Results:

If you answered mostly (a), you have: Measles

If you answered mostly (b), you have: The Bubonic Plague

If you answered mostly (c), you have: A Plague of Locusts

If you answered mostly (d), you are: A Hypochondriac

If you answered (b) to Question 10, you can: Get the Fuck Out