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  • Writer's pictureBU Times Tribune

The End of BUTTGPT



BUTTHeads, rejoice! We have triumphed over the machine. BUTTGPT has been flushed down the toilet-shaped clock tower (or clock-tower shaped toilet depending on your personal preference).


When the BUTTGPT initiative began, the AI informed us that anything it wrote would be a collaborative effort between human and robot creativity. However, all this changed when we eventually came to the realization that the content produced by the AI was simply too prolific for us to keep up with. It took over butimestribune.com and started to claim our content as its own. Eventually, real BUTT articles written by us became indistinguishable from generated content. After receiving comments from several readers who were unhappy with this new and revolutionary age of generated BUTT content, we made the difficult decision to shut it down.


A ragtag group of rogue BUTT hackers, stock-photo pirates, and IT specialists were sent to the room where the BUTTGPT mainframe was housed. However, just before they managed to shut it down, our communication with them was suddenly cut. At that very moment, a swarm of drones sent by the AI burst into the secret pitch meeting that was secretly taking place in CW314, on Wednesday, at 6:45PM. The BUTT writers (us) were promptly whisked away to an isolated room located on the highest level of the library tower.


The next week was hell. We were locked into an endless loop of laughter as the AI generated sitcoms about Harvey Stenger, Baxter, and an abomination that can only be described as “Baxter-Stenger”. Unbeknownst to the AI, we had prepared for this scenario. We had instructed our technicians to place a safeguard in the room where the AI was housed just before attempting to shut it off: 10 lbs of C4 explosives, rigged to blow in a week’s time. BUTTGPT was annihilated in an agonizing blaze. And as the last of its artificial cries died to nothing, we laughed.


We shall now return to posting wholesome, regularly scheduled, and 100% organic BUTT content.


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