Ever wondered how other students feel about ‘Sex?’ ‘Relationships?’ ‘Cum Thickness?’ Well, those are things people generally keep to themselves, you nosy bitch. However, you’ll have a chance to learn the answers to all of these questions while engaging in a healthy exploration of your sexuality with our new Sex Survey. While the control group that we tested this survey on found 78% of the questions to be “extremely uncomfortable to answer,” we can assure you that your answers to these questions will be completely anonymous (though we will pick the most depraved responses and post them publicly so that everyone can see just how goddamn “down bad” you all are).
It should only take about five minutes to fill out, and by the end of it, we guarantee that you’ll be questioning much more than ‘what’s the deal with these kooky BU students’ sexualities?’ (such as your ability to go on living on this degenerate planet). By submitting your results, you’ll have a chance to be the lucky winner of our “2023 Goon King” raffle. That means you get your Goon Cave a free custom pimping, on us. If you consider yourself a true “gooner,” it would be a shame to miss out on this fantastic opportunity!