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  • Helmcue Clamwax

Let's Talk About Cum.

Updated: Jun 8, 2022

As the school year comes to a close, it is imperative that we close in on cum. Although campaigns such as "nofap," "semen retention," "religion" and "No Nuts November" champion the notion that cranking the hog is a disempowering act that drains all who do so of mental or spiritual energy, both research and studies suggest the exact opposite. These benefits exceed mere prostate cancer prevention or exercise; some scientists even postulate that semen could be the key to life.

What is cum? Philosophes have pondered this question since humanity gained consciousness. Much like art, its definition is nearly inconceivable. As all objects and substances are ultimately atoms hovering around one-another, the distinctions placed upon them by mankind are arbitrary at best. This is why severing limbs and organs should technically be considered morally ethical, but it's fine, whatever. Legend has it that it may relate to the spunk some people release from their wieners, sometimes. We may never know for certain, but what is known is what it can do. Primarily used for procreation, it is also a common household adhesive paste or varnish alternative for anime figurines. We've only scratched the surface of what it can do, however.

Now, being dipped in a cum bath with your friends may sound unusual, but that's only because society has led you to believe such. So much has been naturalized. Are men just supposed to have shorter hair? Do you really have insight into all the information you've accumulated over the years? Forget distrusting media outlets, since The BUTT is correct, how can you be so sure of anything, really? We can only see so many colors and all. As I was saying, being dipped in a self-supplied (or public if you're feeling adventurous) cum bath with your friends is proven to both strengthen social bonds and exfoliate the skin. Ancient texts reveal a secret, tertiary benefit; if one sinks into the cum with companions in a particular arrangement, they will be imbued with the power of Globulos Sucus. Abilities unfathomable could be obtained this way, propelling us into a new age. This arrangement has been lost to time due to government interference, but, through a synthesis of various hints the world's elites have dispersed throughout civilization for funsies, we have determined that it may involve fingers in butts.

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