• Sam Wheeler

Lead Guitarist for Punk Band Learns One New Chord, Fans Call Him "Sellout"



Eugene Vicious, leader of local punk band Plastic Semen, has recently found himself in hot water after his controversial decision to learn a new chord on the guitar. This move comes at a particularly precarious time as the band only just moved past a scandal where they had decided to record their latest album in an actual studio.


“It’s just ridiculous, quite frankly”, says a long-time fan. “How am I supposed to take out my grievances against ‘The Man’ if I have to keep track of all this music theory and technical rubbish?” Furthermore, many fans have claimed this move makes “Plastic Semen” a part of the establishment, and the most hardcore are already calling for boycotts. “Two chords were fine, too much even, but they had to go and ruin it, they all do in the end”, says Johnny Cook, himself a member of contemporary punk band Prolapsed Anus. Vicious himself, however, remains optimistic. “You know, a power chord is great and all, but I found myself wondering if there was more to the guitar than simply playing the root and the fifth”.


Bringing his chord library to a total of three, the sky’s the limit for Plastic Semen and their future albums. Vicious and his crew only hope that their fans can catch up, “it’s just a new chord, I don’t see what the big fuss is, I’m still the same guitarist as I was, I still hate the government, I still hate big corporations, I’ll always be against the establishment”. Catch Plastic Semen’s latest album “It Stings When I Pee” on all the platforms, now streaming on Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora, Amazon Music Unlimited, and Tidal.


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