Following the trailer release for the Roku original docuseries WWE: Next Gen, professional actor and executive producer John Cena revealed his future involvement in the 97th annual Academy Awards ceremony: “This year was just an appetizer… I’ll definitely be showing hole next time.” This revelation was completely unprompted and BUTT staff was sent to his office in Roku City for further inquiry after our surveillance cameras picked up this juicy announcement.
Presenting the award for Costume Design in the nude one time around was not enough for neither The Champ nor his fans. “I now wholeheartedly believe that men are utterly inferior” said swathes of viewers following the initial broadcast of Cena’s humiliating display of pure musculature, “and in doing so I carry a militant will to spread cultural emasculation across all mediums.” The main means of doing so, of course, would be an enriched encore.
“Yeah, I wasn’t too well known before that whole skit,” Cena admitted to a BUTT reporter, “so in performing this humiliation ritual for the Satanist Hollywood elite I’ve really gained quite some favor. I mean, I got this new show and everything! So now I’m ready for a hole skit. Maybe throw some sack action in there too.” The reporter attempted to crack a joke about how he was practically invisible prior to the ceremony since no one could see him and that he may appear as a floating butthole to the audience because of it, leading Cena to silently lift him by the neck and perform a chokeslam. “No one gets to say that but me. And don’t get me wrong, buddy. I’m showing hole for the love of it first and foremost. The rest is just a bonus. Now get lost before I give you a Cleveland Steamer.”
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