How Mentally Ill Are You Really? We Have a Test!
- Calvin Matthes
- Apr 11
- 2 min read

Everyone struggles with mental illness, with new ones manifesting everyday it’s hard to decide which ones you really have. In this short yes or no quiz, we can figure out your brain in just a few minutes. Keep tally because at the end of this quiz you’ll be able to see how well you did!
Question 1: Are you a woman?
If yes, Bipolar Disorder. It is well known that all women have Bipolar Disorder.
Question 2: Do you experience empathy?
If yes, you have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Emotions like empathy are not normal. Stay away from us neuronormals.
Question 3: Do you eat at the Binghamton University Dining halls at least 5 times a week?
If yes, you have PICA.
Question 4: Would you give him a quarter to use at the gumball machine?

If not, then you are biphobic. Not only are you mentally ill, but you are also a bigot. Tough luck.
Question 5: Have you eaten a salad in the past month?
Oink, oink! If you said yes, you have anorexia. Put down the fork and get on the stairmaster piggy.
Question 6: Do you have all your classes on google calendar?
If yes, you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Your classes aren’t going to move when you’re looking.
Question 7: Can you name 5 types of pasta?
Double Whammy! You’re both Italian and obese. Talk about intersectionality!
Question 8: Do the natural numbers begin at 0 or 1?
This is not a mental illness , but if you have an answer for this you will die alone.
Question 9: Smooth or chunky?
If you said smooth, you have a very smooth brain, it’s impressive you’ve made it this far in the quiz.
Question 10: Can you navigate the Fine Arts Building?
If yes, you have Pathological Lying Disorder. Now that you’ve lied to me I can’t trust anything you’ve said before. Your score is now 10. Move onto scoring.
Scoring guide:
0-5: Normal

6-7: SSRIs

7-8: Straitjacket

9-10: Lobotomy

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