Sodexo has recently announced its newest offering to Binghamton University, the widely-anticipated “Sludge Station.” According to Auxiliary Services, the Sludge Stations will be implemented in all four dining halls and will serve as a “low-cost, high nutrition” alternative for students who have criticized recent price increases in the regular dining hall food.
When questioned about what exactly the sludge is made of, Sodexo replied, “Only the highest-quality, locally-sourced ingredients.” The Sodexo spokesperson declined to comment on what those locally-sourced ingredients actually are, instead responding with a shrug and mischievous little grin.
If you’re anything like us intrepid reporters at the BUTT, you know that spending your hard-earned dimes on just any measly meal is a poor financial choice. You may be wondering if the sludge is actually worth paying for and eating. But never worry, dear reader, because I spent a week trying each flavor of sludge offered. The following guide should tell you everything you need to know before trying it out yourself.
MONDAY: Grey Sludge - $3.25
I’ll admit that, at first, I was a bit skeptical about this one. Its color was unappetizing, and I think something was bubbling underneath its mushy surface. But, after trying the sludge, I really enjoyed its musty flavor and the greasy film it left on my tongue.
TUESDAY: Green Sludge - $4.89
This sludge was definitely my favorite out of the week! Not only did its smell barely make me feel ill, but it was also vegetarian! At least, I think it was vegetarian. It didn’t have any ambiguous meat hunks floating in it like some of the other options.
WEDNESDAY: Yellow Sludge - $2.67
Not only is this the lowest-cost sludge, it’s also edible! I found that dipping a piece of bread in this one helps suppress the gag reflex a little bit.
THURSDAY: Pink Sludge - $3.98
This sludge was advertised specifically in celebration of women’s history month. As a woman, I sure do feel celebrated! This sludge has a more chunky consistency than the other choices, as there were Polly Pocket and Barbie shoes mixed into it. I really hope that Sodexo makes this one a permanent menu fixture!
FRIDAY: Orange Sludge - $4.15
This sludge was definitely food! Like many other students, I contracted intense, violent Norovirus after consuming this meal. For the entire weekend, I was basically chained to the puke bucket I keep in my room at all times. That being said, we all know that the dining halls have nothing but the highest standards for food safety, so everybody probably contracted it from somewhere else.
All in all, I really enjoyed all of the options I tried this week! My favorite part of this entire experience was scooping the sludge out of the station with my bare hands. I think that Binghamton’s food services are the epitome of quality and safety, and we should all purchase as many meal plan dollars as possible!*
*This article was sponsored by Sodexo.