Undecided Major Building Set for Construction

SEPTEMBER 8 2030, BINGHAMTON- President D’Alleva has just announced the construction of an all new building dedicated to the most popular major here- Undecided. Sources close to the President have commented that this is a great opportunity for the indecisive to refine their inaction. One commented that “People just haven’t been reached out correctly- Binghamton has a lot of undecided majors, and we need to engage every student where they are.” The administration has shown that helping people not decide on things should remain a priority, committing to “consider all our options, then come to a decision.” At the BUTT, we believe the actions taken to make the Building for Undecided Majors a place that all students can get behind must be as decisive as the major itself. We have to exhaust every option, and consider them all very carefully, before we decide how to start a pre-provisional review of each potential construction site. It has been claimed by administration that the professors being hired to teach in the new building will cover fields of general knowledge to leave an impression on students and perhaps even help them choose a major besides undecided. However, the BUTT can exclusively confirm that professional selection of professors has been abandoned in favor of an online-hire program based off of “Instagram Reels.” When reached out to for comment, one professor said “Yeah, we don’t really know what the fuck we’re doing here. I just post AI Charlie Kirk edits all day, and I haven’t made a real decision in my life since I gathered the courage to tell my mom that I quit my job to start a crypto influencer channel.” Our initial trepidation about the university’s hiring practices was vanquished by our connection with this fine gentleman. He seemed to want to get away from us though, and seemed afraid of something. When asked what his cryptocurrency had been called, he muttered something about a laptop and left. Curious.