BINGHAMTON, NY— A recent study spearheaded by the Binghamton University Psychology Department found that owning a Samsung phone often causes others around you to feel uncomfortable. 500 students were each shown two photos each of three different models, with one photo depicting the model holding an Apple phone, and one depicting them holding a Samsung. Upon seeing these photos, the students were then asked a series of questions by the researchers that would determine their general comfort levels around Samsung owners. For instance, students sampled were asked to pick who amongst the two people photographed they would rather have walk them back to their apartment along a dimly lit street on a dark night: 477 out of 500 students chose the iPhone user over the Samsung user.
The leading psychologist behind this experiment, Nora Tic, found the results her study produced to be very enlightening. She herself was all too familiar with the discomfort of being around a Samsung user: “It all began when I met this guy on Tinder,” she explained to me in an interview. “We had been out a couple times, and on the third date we exchanged phone numbers. Excitedly, I texted him that very night to make sure he got home okay only to find that—“ she broke down, shedding a single tear before continuing. “That my texts were in … green! I had no choice but to break up with him. I mean, if he had told me he uses a Samsung right away, things could have been different. But you don’t just wait until the third date and then bombard someone with green text— where is the respect?” Dr. Tic would go on to say that in retrospect, the grainy, poorly-lit profile picture featured on his Tinder account should have tipped her off.
After sharing her harrowing story with fellow psychologists in the department, they had decided to turn her experience into a study to see whether they were alone in their discomfort around Samsung users. Interestingly, the vast majority of students they sampled hadn’t yet realized that Samsungs made them uncomfortable, and with this new revelation they were able to see their personal relationships in a new light. One anonymous student, in an interview following the release of the study, had this to say: “Now that you mention it, I remember I was in the Image and Acoustic Signals Stream for the FRI program. In class, we were talking about Siri, and my professor goes, ‘You mean Bixby?'’’ Now I know why I had the sudden gut feeling to change my Stream.”
Representatives of Samsung were reached out to for comment, but would only send their responses through WhatsApp.
At press time, a disheveled senior student wearing a flannel with holes in it was spotted on the roof of the Library Tower, placing an Apple logo sticker on his Samsung phone while laughing maniacally and frantically whispering the following: “No one will ever know. No one will ever know.”