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  • David Belkin

Late Nite's Sixth Annual Sexapalooza Is Going to Shock America

Is that your Binghamton-branded ruler in your pocket, or are you just excited for February 11th? That’s right: Late Nite's sixth annual Sexapalooza is set to be its nastiest, most salacious, and most orgasmic iteration yet.

Campus activities program coordinator Amanda Hold describes the original intent behind the idea: “The goal is for our students to explore and express their sexualities under the supervision of the university.”

Students can get down and dirty by participating in such scandalous acts as bingo, button-making, lectures, and trivia — prudes be warned! Attendees are also encouraged to make cliched sexual puns about how the pizza offered at the event has pepperoni on it, and how words such as “pepperoni,” are similar to that which is phallic.

This year, Sexapalooza will be taken one step further with the introduction of “Boobie Beach Ball.” During this activity, students will have stilted conversations about their majors while passing around a beach ball in the basement of the Union.

Baxter Bearcat, school mascot and resident beacon of morality, is excited for Sexapalooza as well. Baxter sees the Late Night event as an opportunity for Binghamton to “begin production and sale of university-branded sex toys,” which he sees as an “untapped market within the collegiate landscape.”

At press time, Late Night Organizers were seen convening around a laptop, prepping for Sexapalooza by asking online search engines “What is sex?”

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