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  • David Belkin

Good Luck Getting This Article to Load

Updated: Sep 13, 2023


BINGHAMTON, NY— Students across campus were hit with an internet

outage on their first day of classes. This meant that students

were unable to register for classes, look up their schedules, or

play chess during lecture.


At 11:01 a.m., a B-Alert had reportedly been sent to the student

body in hopes of alleviating their concerns and assuring them

that the university’s Information Technology Services (ITS)

would remedy the connection issues in a short matter of time. It

would not be until 12:45 p.m. that students would receive this

update.


Many students had expressed disappointment in the University and

wished that more steps were taken to prepare for such an

internet outage. June Yior, a freshman mathematics major, was

particularly affected by what had happened: “Does Binghamton

have any idea how much data I blew through by using my hotspot?”

University President Harvey Stenger, meanwhile, felt the

frustration of these students was unwarranted. He viewed the

connection failures as an “important wake-up call” to students

who use modern-day necessities like the internet “as a crutch.”


Cam Puter, the chief information officer at ITS, apologized for

the incident but had expressed pride in her team’s ability to

fix the internet outage: “Unplugging the internet was the easy

part. It wasn’t until later that our research team realized that

not only did we need to unplug the internet, but that we had to

plug it back in as well.”


At press time, Puter and her team of researchers and computer

scientists at ITS had reportedly created a small spark by

rubbing two sticks they had gathered from the Nature Preserve

together, and plan to harness this energy into some kind of

campus-wide heating system.

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Zane Jennings
Zane Jennings
Dec 05, 2023

it loaded this sucks kys


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