The start of the spring semester coincided with a variety of new and exciting courses being introduced to the student body, but no class has garnered more attention than “In the Bowl: Potty Like a Real Grown-Up” (PP 210). The course is described on the schedule planner as being designed to “educate students how to use the bathroom like a big boy, without any of the mess.” That’s right! No more piss on the toilet seats! Huzzah!
We interviewed the Binghamton student body about the new class, which has been subject to both praise and controversy.
“Thank God,” said one student. “There’s just piss everywhere. Every toilet seat on my floor is covered. I don’t know how they keep doing this. Surely it can’t be that hard to aim your wiener, right? Right?”
Another member of the community’s feedback about the course was harsher. He commented, “My parents pay thousands of dollars for me to go here, but I’m not allowed to pee wherever I want? I thought this was America!”
Finally, one actual member of the course described what he has learned so far: “It’s so enlightening. It never occurred to me that I could just wipe it up with toilet paper. I hadn’t thought about it like that before. Higher education really is so powerful.”