- Sam Wheeler
4 Creative Ways to Repurpose Your COVID Mask
A wave of jubilant celebration has swept the nation as mask mandates all over the country are slowly being lifted, with Binghamton University slated to join the ranks of the maskless this Saturday following an announcement by President Stenger himself. Naturally, this has left many wondering what to do with the countless masks they have hoarded over the course of the pandemic. Have no fear! We here at the BUTT have composed an exhaustive list of ways to to imbue your now largely irrelevant masks with a new functional - or fun - purpose.
1. Identity Protection
This idea is a throwback to a classic. Ages ago, before the era of the pandemic, up-and-coming entrepreneurs would often don a mask before securing themselves a little startup money from the nearest bank. Wearing a mask would help them avoid being identified by intrusive cameras and being caught by the pesky police or feds. Obviously a little riskier, this move ultimately pays off since it’s cheaper than taking out a loan and paying it back with interest.
2. Toilet Paper
As you all remember, early on during the pandemic there were fears of toilet paper shortages. Well worry no longer - put a stack of masks in that bathroom of yours and wipe away! Our own editors have confirmed that masks are far more comfortable than 1-ply toilet paper.
3. Bathing Suit
With summer right around the corner, many eager beachgoers are searching for this season’s hottest swimsuits. Our designer specialist has put together a few elegant swimwear pieces so that you can show off your spanking bod this summer. President Stenger graciously agreed to model one of the items for us, as seen in the above image.
An iconic pastime for many, littering is an activity open to all. That state park by your house looking too pretty? Dump a bag of masks on the hiking trail. Strip mall parking lot not looking grimy enough? Throw a few masks here and there. Many concerned citizens around the world have already taken up littering as a hobby to make their corner of the world that much uglier. Remember, only YOU can prevent your neighborhood from being aesthetically pleasing and environmentally friendly.