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  • Tristan Awayan

Nostalgic For Last Semester, Harvey Stenger Closes Down School Again



Earlier this morning, Binghamton students received an urgent email from the University President telling them that classes are going all-online starting tomorrow. This email, prompting students to get ready for Zoom-exclusive meetings for the next two weeks, came with less than 24 hours notice, and begs questions regarding Harvey's true motivations. It might be less than a week before this online lockdown is extended to the rest of the semeseter, depending on how well this containment measure goes, so it's better to discover this reasoning sooner rather than later.


After brief deliberation and investigation, our reports theorize that Harvey may have simply been reminiscing the days of March 2020, a time which feels like so many years ago that it simply makes sense to be nostalgic for it in the same way 90s kids are for their formative years.


Who can forget the ghost-town appearance of campus only 6 months ago? Who can forget the frantic calls between students and their parents, and the somber discussions in classes about who's headed home early? Apparently we can, because we've let Covid rebound on campus, and got Stenger thinking about going back to the good ol' days.


To everyone still on campus, good luck with this transition, and take comfort in knowing that it isn't everyone's first rodeo. Here's hoping that it will be our last (in a good way, not an apocalyptic or dystopian way)

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