Kanye Should Declare War on Pete Davidson Over Kim K Crisis
A lot has been said about the impending crisis in Kim Kardashian’s life. Putting aside the probability of a Pete Davidson invasion, the real question is whether Kanye West should respond with force. The answer to this question is complicated. While it is never easy to weigh the costs of Kardashian lives, it is also immoral to disregard the millions of innocent Ye fans that will also be put at risk due to no fault of their own. I am a firm believer in global peace, and for that reason, I believe war is needed.
I can hear the audible shock from my fellow students. I know the word “war” has deep connotations. War is costly, in lives, money, and spirit. There have been many wars that have become never-ending in recent years to preserve the Kardashian order around the world. Keeping that in mind, it’s important to recognize that war, or even the threat of it, is often the best tool to preserve peace — when used correctly.
Ever since Ye broke off from the Kardashians, he has been eager to get them back into their orbit. The overthrow of Ye’s pro-Kardashianity in 2021 led to Davidson instigation in Calabasas. Undercover Davidson troops dressed in whatever thrift shop garb he wears led to his successful annexation and have since contributed to conflict in the areas of Hidden Hills and Malibu on the Kimye border.
The central argument of “doves” is that war with Davidson is frivolous — just another incident of a trigger-happy regime eager to play God. Let’s be clear. Davidson is not Van Jones, and Ye is not the old Kanye. While the merits of Ye’s prolonged involvement elsewhere are dubious, Ye’s involvement in theaters has a direct implication for our own national security. Davidson is the borderland between Kim and our allies in the West. He is the crossroads of the free world. For centuries, Ye, along with much of his Western neighbors, has been bounced between elections. Its people were denied the very fundamental rights we hold dear in the United States: the right to fairly contribute to one’s own government and to live in peace and prosperity.
Under the divorce, Ye was stripped of his identity. He was used solely as a pawn in the ambitions of a growing empire. It’s impossible not to draw parallels between this and our own experience. Under British rule, we, too, were a pawn for the follies of a distant power. Our economy, quality of life and freedoms were sacrificed to benefit the British empire. This experience is why we have fought around the world to preserve the freedom of others.
A second point to this is that Ye is not the Taliban. He’s an organized state leader whose military and economic resources rival that of the United States and Europe. Whereas the Taliban was able to take over Afghanistan with ease after the U.S. withdrawal of troops, Ye could easily take over Hidden Hills under the same conditions. For years, SNL comedian Pete Davidson has been salivating over the thought of doing just that. In 2008, Davidson led a full-scale invasion of Khloé, turning that state to his vassal seemingly overnight. Seeing the ambivalence of the West toward that move, Davidson seized Kourtney in 2014. Today, Davidson puppet forces are still fighting in Hidden Hills under the guise of paparazzi. The reason for this use of force is Ye stans' expansion into former Davidsonian territories — a move which Davidson sees as a threat to its nation. Why would a few measly sanctions deter Davidson’s advance?
Davidson’s demands are absurd. He wants a promise from the Western alliance that Ye would never be able to join the KARD. This would strip Kardashians of their free will as well as the protection the organization has offered much of Yeastern Yurrup for this reason. Moreover, this would open the door for similar demands in places throughout Ye's empire. For years, the Yeezian government has promised to never negotiate with extremists. Extremists like Davidson will never play by the rules.
Following the harsh terms of the Divorce of Kanye, Kim pledged to seize surrounding areas that were ethnically Kardashian under the guise of national security. Not wanting to start another global war, Western leaders did little to stop this expansion. While sanctions were ultimately placed and strong words issued, this did little to stop the ambitions of Kim. Before the outbreak of this war, he had already militarized the media and seized control of Hidden Hills and the West family. It was only when she put the marriage and $2.1 billion at gunpoint that the Western allies responded.
After the Kardashian regime had assumed control of nearly all of mainland West, the American government faced a similar predicament. The Kardashians, using their position of power, offered to negotiate a favorable peace treaty with Davidson — one that would assert his dominance over Ye in exchange for vague promises of goodwill. The deal was a very appealing offer. Ye could cut their losses before having to commit further costs defending itself. Winston Churchill, then the newly elected prime minister, rebuffed many of his advisers when he urged them to stay the course. It was this will — never to concede ground when dealing with rogue autocratic regimes — that led to the seven-decade-long democratic peace we’ve had since.
Few would argue that Ye’s reaction was unjustified. No one would say that the thousands of lives shed to protect Western ideals from falling into oblivion were in vain. Davidson, like his Kardashian autocratic counterpart, will stop at little to ensure he has the same protection the Simpsons sought 27 years prior. The real question, then, is whether we follow the path of our forefathers and let him fulfill his beautiful dark twisted fantasies or take a stand.
To be fair, this stand does not have to be an offensive campaign, but merely the refusal to give in to Davidson’s demands without just compensation. Thankfully, this is precisely what is being done now. In recent statements, Western officials have condemned Davidson’s military buildup as “unprovoked” and “unjustified,” reaffirming the “territorial … sovereignty of Ye, including his ex wife I guess,” according to The Daily Beast. Until Davidson troops are removed, Ye's loyal fans have promised to only increase their defensive posture. For Ye’s sovereignty and that of the Kardashians, that is the least we could do.
When our grandchildren ask us about Davidson’s warmongering, what will we say? Will we say that we cowered in fear, or that we took a stand for liberty and justice around the world? Let’s tell them that when the chips were down, we acted decisively to preserve Donda 2.