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  • Max Lieber

Creative Ways to Express Your Anti-Mask Sentiment


1. The Snot Rocket

While pretending to cough or sneeze in someone’s face is a simple and effective way to get the message across, it can be exhausting and difficult to pull off if you are not a trained actor. Instead, you can repurpose this classic offensive act, and shoot a "virus-laden" projectile representative of your firmly held beliefs right into their face. Bonus points if you get it on their mask.


2. The Invisible Mask

"Respirator" face masks come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. So why can't my face mask be invisible?


Hypothetically, a sorcerer or sorceress could cast a spell to turn their face mask invisible. You could also be wearing a face mask that utilizes military grade cloaking technology.

This is all just imaginary, of course. Like the virus.


3. The Temper Tantrum

Let's go back in time for this one. Do you remember how, when you were a kid, you could get pretty much anything you wanted just by being a little brat? Well… guess what?

It still works today!


All you have to do is channel your inner toddler the second you are illegally told to leave the local Walmart. Let those rivers flow, scream at the top of your lungs, and plop down on the floor. Pissing and shitting yourself also works wonders in exercising your God-given American right to free expression.


4. The Pretentious Diatribe

"You see, I am wearing a mask. In fact, we all wear masks… ones that distort our true identity and conceal our emotions to others. What if we just… Took them off? This is exactly what Rawl’s Veil was talking about, right??"

Take that, Karen.


5. The Cosplay

It is commonplace among the muzzled masses to justify your submission through the phrase: "Wearing a mask isn't just safe, it can also be fashionable, too!". Let's turn this statement on its head through the art of cosplay.


In the iconic comedy The Mask, the strange actor Jim Carrey is possessed by a face mask that glues itself to his face, turning him into a wacky green monster that goes on a killing spree in Downtown LA. This is no doubt a warning for what was to come.


Symbolism aside, we can take inspiration from The Mask by painting our faces green and pretending to be Jim Carrey. If some drone were to question this, all you have to do is immediately break out into song and dance, shaking your hips while stating "My name is Cuban Pete, I am the king of the Rumba beat. I go 'boom-chicky chicky-boom boom chicky boom chicky-boom'."


Other iconic "mask wearing" anti-maskers you can cosplay as include Zoro, Batman, or the Phantom of the Opera. You could also just go to your local Party City and grab a rubber monster mask, which, believe it or not, circulates air much better than any cloth or surgical mask due to the mouth, eye, and nose holes.


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