Taking a break from giving insights on the election, here’s what our official BUTT Fortune "Exact Estimation" Telling Team has to say about the rest of the year.
November 12th: Scientists are right on the verge of discovering a brand new color. Not only will this color be disgusting to look at, it will now be all you can see when looking at the face of the person you love most.
November 23rd: All college degrees are deemed invalid after everyone collectively decides that we should all just share the same degree. (Disclaimer, this could just be Fortune Teller Timmy projecting after he realised his business degree is completely pointless for the job he has).
November 30th: A new way to reconstruct what dinosaurs sound like is discovered and it sounds exactly like the New York Mega Millions winning numbers for the week of November 30th. We would tell you what those are except we are selfish and don’t know you.
December 2nd: Finally, some normal news. Your friend that you only rarely talk to from back home is getting married to someone for tax benefits. Neither of them love each other and will lose more than they gained when they file for divorce in four months.
December 10th: Uh oh, it looks like there’s another pandemic coming. Unfortunately, instead of being deadly, this pandemic is a bunch of human babies. Don’t be fooled by their cute appearances and constant requests for you to love them, resisting your parental urge will be rewarded with a very nice bottle of wine come the continental merge.
December 26th: 300 of the world's best doctors are stranded on an island along with actor Ken Jeong after a reality game show deathmatch called “Healer Harmers” goes horribly wrong. Watching them marooned is more interesting than the original show and the producers decide to keep them on the island until further notice.
That’s all for this time, and remember: “Nothing is certain, everything is uncertain, and some things are redundant.”
- All of us here at The BUTT FEET