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  • Tristan Awayan

Scientists Discover Political Projections Actually Cancel Each Other Out



In a shocking development overnight, Democrats and Republicans alike discovered that their competing estimates of a Biden landslide and an easy Trump re-election are both incorrect, and that this election will be the most nail-bitingly close race in recent history.


"Well, we knew that if Trump doesn’t win off the bat, it’s obviously intervention from the corrupt democratic party" Kyle Kona, a republican, admits. “The fact that we were leading from the beginning according to the initial exit polls means that we should have called it then and there.”


"B-but, all the math and polls said 371 was possible for us! The DNC carried Biden all the way to this point to obliterate Trump and secure most of the electoral college, I can’t believe it’s this damn close!" Corey Michaels, a democrat, complains.


Top scientists have compared this phenomenon to that one audio effect you learned in high school physics where you placed two opposing sound waves against each other; no matter how high their amplitudes were, they would just create interference with each other and result in a quiet wave or even silence.


Republicans had turned up their optimism to 11 for Trump to assuredly win, and the Democrats triple checked their polls, math, and statistics to predict a near-guaranteed Biden sweep, and the main reason we believe the race is this close is due to these competing energies nullifying each other.


As we continue waiting with bated breath for the (likely Democratic) mail-in votes to finally be counted in the near future, we learn a lesson in humility, cautious optimism, and audio science.


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